- Well, – you might say. – Capitalism doesn’t have to fail you. How about making money with your films?
- Well, – I might answer. – Capitalism is really good at indulging our worst, biologically predetermined cravings by selling us sugary drinks and fattened burgers.
Meaning, my films don’t sell.
For years I was trying to beat my unsalability, by exploring possibilities of subject of sex (and no, sex doesn’t sell, no matter what they tell you. Porn maybe sells, but not sex), dentists and children’s books.
In the end, it has left me beaten.
- But why WHY my great stuff that is so popular at film festivals cant get a distributor and sell sell sell?- I lament during sleepless nights after looking at sad ending of my bank account balance.
Even my festival hit “Teat Beat of Sex” didn’t do well on the market. People like to look at it but they don’t want to shed their $$$ to get it in their hands.
Then one day, a TV network approached me.
- We saw your “Teat Beat of Sex”. Maybe you can do something for us?
- Oh, yes YES YES!! – I answered without a pause, thinking, this is the answer to my all night prayers. Not only $$$ will knock on my doors (finally I can afford to buy my own clothes! and get a haircut!) but millions of people will admire my work! Dreams do come true!
Immediately and enthusiastically I set to work.
- How about this? – I showed my proposal to the Network.
A long pause, only a sound of neck scratching.
- Hmm… this is nice, but not quite what we expected.
- All right! – I don’t loose my heart that easy and pulled out another proposal. – How about this then?
- Oh yeah… interesting. Interesting. Interesting… not within our guidelines, though.
- What is what you want? – I decided to be direct. – I’ll do anything for you!
- Oh well, you see. How shall we put it. Our target audience is men of 19-21 and all they want is the fantasy about women, you know, big boobs, some fart jokes, hot hot chicks in tight red dresses wanting to fuck them. That kind of stuff.
My heart dropped.
- You said, you wanted to work with me because you liked “Teat Beat of Sex”.
- Then how could you miss what “Teat Beat of Sex” is about? Those stories attempt to clarify the misunderstanding between the genders. It’s telling the truth about what women want.
- Oh well, Signe. Where have YOU been? No one wants to hear the truth. Not on Television.
That’s when the Revelation hit me – THIS is the reason why my films don’t sell and why I don’t have any money.
In making a cola I am substituting spoons of sugar with fresh lemon juice.
Too sour for general public taste.
Can I change? Can I adjust to the demands of the market?
If I change what my films are about, then my 3 insane reasons for making films will disintegrate.
My Supernatural Purpose of encouraging people to think for themselves, have independent minds – where would that go?
Maybe I should turn around and explore the other field, unrelated to capitalistic urges and market demands.
The field of High Art. The Venues of Highbrow Museums and Prestigious Arts Galleries.
I heard of a couple not so great animators making living of Museum screenings and other support of that kind.
- We are for invitation only, – the Museum announced when I knocked. – If we like your work, you’ll be invited.
- But how you’ll find my work?
- We go to festivals. We are sure we had seen you work and it didn’t fit our standards.
But the door slammed on my snout.
I went to the Museum screenings to see what they like.
They like non-narrative films that take themselves too seriously. They like the films that experiment with image sequencing the way it was done 30 years ago, only 30 years ago it was done better. The like images that shake, tremble and tire you out after 5 minutes of watching.
- Oh, I see now why Museums will never invite me! Even if you put me under ice cold water, squeeze my foot with Spanish Boot and slash my skin with razor blades, I wont be able to produce work like this.
Where does it leave me?
I don’t make commercial films and I don’t make art films.
I fell between those two chairs and my ass hurts.
- April 2013
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